Mar 12, 2014

Breakups are Hard..

I haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks. I just haven't felt led to write lately. These 2 quotes pretty much describe what I'm feeling right now.  I am about to honest about a few things so you have been warned. 

It's hard to accept the person you love or in my case loved is not the person you fell in love with. ( I still love him as a person but not the romantic love any more. Sure I miss "us" sometimes and most of the time now I miss the companionship.) 

When me and Bryan started dating it was all about me and our happiness. I was the number 2 to number 1 being God. I was loving it. 

Then we both graduated and a lot of things changed obviously. He had to find a job obviously to support himself and enventually us which we were both planing on that. He got a job 2 hours away. I thought we would be ok because we had been further away while at school.  But that's wasn't the same at all. 

Work slowly became creeping up to the number 2 spot and I was put on the back burner. eventually it has become number 1. I hate to say that. 

He promised me at the beginning of this he would never hurt me. But as you can see he did. 

So right now I'm struggling to make sense of it. That the guy I love/loved chose this over me. 

I am angry at God right now because of all this. I know that's stupid. But right now it is the only thing I can make sense of. I know I will finally figure out one day why this happened, but right now I can't.